WHILE I BREATHE

Being a dedicated and practiced carnivore, I’m particular about meat.  I have my favorite cuts, of course, and ways of preparing, seasoning and cooking them.  With beef, there are grades as well such as prime, choice and select, each with its own flavor, texture, and fat content.  As to be expected, some are better than others. A lesser cut of meat, for instance, typically refers to cuts that are not as popular, not as tender, or not as expensive as prime cuts.

So, what the heck does this have to do with the S.C. Senate? Well, in February of 2015 when I was lucky to be the only woman in the Senate and serve on the Judiciary committee, I introduced legislation to strengthen the penalties on domestic violence.  In fact, my legislation said if a person had been CONVICTED of domestic violence they should not be allowed to own a hand gun. I know that was foolish of me, because for years South Carolina had been the nation’s number one state in women killed by men in domestic violence. I was rebuked on the Senate floor and told that someone could just as soon be killed by an ashtray as a gun.  I still scratch my head over that one!

It just so happens that we had a Judiciary dinner one evening at the Brazilian Steakhouse on Main Street in Columbia following the Domestic Violence discussion. I was sitting at a table with colleagues from the Judiciary Committee enjoying many different “cuts of meat”. As you might figure the table was full of jovial men all enjoying the fine cuts of meat being served.  

We were discussing the events of the day when domestic violence came up.  The conversation devolved when it was stated that women “should be listening to men and there would be no domestic violence.”

Then it happened.  

The Joke!  

My seat mate of two years in the senate, Senator Tom Corbin said “Well, you know, God did create man and then He took a rib and made a woman. You know a rib is a lesser cut of meat” WHAT?

Personally, I didn’t who should have been more insulted, me or the rib but at the time it made me pretty mad. I stood up, left my plate, turned around and ask the valet for my keys.  Of course, everyone was asking where I was going but I just told them I had enough meat and was going home.  As luck would have it, someone was standing near me leaked that Joke to the local media, FitsNews and within a few days it was yes, national news.  

I posted on Facebook at the time:

Not that I had ever thought about being on the Rachel Maddow Show, she did do a very good job of bringing light to how few women were in the legislature and how effective they are.  So here we are 10 years later and every February this pops up on my Facebook memories as a reminder of the begging of the end of sitting back and taking it.

Don’t misunderstand.  I don’t obsess over the slight, joke or not.  At the time, it shot caused more anger than pain.  But, it was also a flag, signaling me to beware of a very real obstacle in my service in the Senate.  Too often, my gender was a factor in how my proposals and ideas would be considered, if at all.  I will say, over time, this lesser cut became more accepted and, for that, I’m both grateful and proud.  Still, however, even in the 21^st century, too many people believe Tom Corbin’s comment as more fact than humor.

The great words of the Song “Let It Go” from Frozen ring in my ears when I think about it.  Senator Shane Massey told me to keep playing it over and over until I got strong enough to confront it and I did….